I'm steadily approaching a full Dex, and spot and catch my first ever Girafarig while on break from working night shift. Feeling lucky – and still without scizor – I decide to swing by the park where I spotted one of the few scythers I have ever seen after work, at 1am. I hop on my motorbike, put the phone in the holder, and lo and behold: the park has two! I pull in and pinap the pair, giving me the exact amount of candy I need for scizor (still need a second metal coat mind, since steelix stretched the first) But wait! A third scyther appears a little further into the park! I'm still sitting on the bike, engine running… I dont really need another… but theyre so rare! think of the extra candy! 'It's ten feet away!' I tell myself. 'Whats the worst that can happen? I get mugged? someone robs my bike? None of that is going to happen! walk over and catch it you lazy b*stard!
I kill the engine, take my phone form the holder, walk five steps…. and he flees. I roll my eyes… oh well, I got what I came for, 'Go home! its 1am!'
So I'm driving home on the 10 Freeway at 80mph on my motorbike at 1am. I hit a small bump and feel something fall off the bike. 'It was probably the gum in my pocket,' I tell myself, having resisted the instinctive urge to grab for it and probably kill myself. Turns out it wasn't gum, but the $750 iPhone I'd bought just a few weeks ago… with no insurance.
All the way home, I'm literally screaming inside my helmet 'FCK THAT FCKING SCYTHER!"
Arriving home, I try and fail to cry myself to sleep. I try calling it… and it's still working. Find My iPhone reveals it is sitting, alive at least, in the middle of the freeway. I get out of bed and drive back just to even see if I can spot it from the side of the freeway. I have to scale a fence – and it is fcking frightening up there. there's no fcking way I can run out there at 3am on a Friday night, cars are milling past and everyone's probably drunk…. I can't see the phone, but I'm within 30 feet. Staring forlornly from the abandoned train station on the far side of the freeway doesn't help much either, but it does attract the attention of two police officers who arrive 10 minutes later. After convincing them I wasn't suicidal, I explain what happened, and they tell me I have to call the CHP… but to probably 'chalk it up as a loss.' 'The CHP are hardly gonna shut down traffic to get a phone are they?' His expression answers my question. But when I – apologetically – call, the dispatcher actually wants to know the details. She sends two officers, who tell me I'm lucky cause now is normally 'car crash o'clock'. They drive off, and come back a half hour later, carrying my phone WITH BARELY A F*CKING SCRATCH ON IT.
Bought that phone case at Ross Dress For Less for like 7 bucks, too
PS I dint tell my wife until after I retrieved the phone that the reason I dropped it was I was chasing Pokemon
TL,DR: if u drop something on the freeway, call the CHP! F*cking legends!